Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

Off to the Temple district to drag a noble and stalwart paladin into our sociopathic shenanigans. Unfortunately, there’s no way to access the sewers without stumbling across the blind prophet Gaal and the idiots he’s preaching to.

And they ARE idiots. I mean, yeah, Gaal’s argument that the gods don’t really do much for anyone unless their character sheet says “Cleric” on it isn’t a bad one, and any religious cult that claims to offer better might at least be worth looking into, but all of this should be mitigated by the fact that you have to GET YOUR GODDAMNED EYES TORN OUT FIRST. “Oh, hey, that’s cool. I don’t mind being blinded for the rest of my life, as I have full confidence that you will follow up on all your vague and unsubstantiated promises!”

It’s not as if he isn’t up front about it either. He actually says “Yeah, if you want in, you’re going to have to lose the eyes. It’s just our thing,” during his pitch. Or something like that, anyway. I’ve seen this scene so many times that I don’t even bother to read the text anymore. I just click until it’s over.

Now, as those of you who have actually played the game will no doubt know, you’ll normally be approached after this incident by a priest of Helm, who basically DEMANDS that you get your ass over to the temple right this second because Helm wants you to do something for him. But you know what? No. If that is how Helm asks for favours then I would like to cordially invite Helm to suck my quarterstaff. You guys are high level clerics, so fix your own damn problems.

However, since we have the multi-stronghold mod installed (and since Vespero is good-aligned) we are instead graced with the presence of a priest of Lathander, who’s a little more polite in his request. We’ll need to talk to him before we can pick up Keldorn anyway, so we might as well go and see him now.

When we talk to him, he mentions that our reputation is “far from clear.” Excuse me? My reputation happens to be 14 out of 20, jerk. Granted, I’m not quite the messiah yet, but that’s still better than average.

Of course, he might be going by how Vespero’s actually been behaving rather than what the “reputation” value on his character sheet says, but…well, screw you if that’s the case. What’s on my sheet is gold to you, you pompous ass. You’re a lowly NPC. You don’t know jack. I AM THE PROTAGONIST, YOU HEAR?

Anyway, we have a chat with him, which essentially boils down to this;

“How do I know this isn’t an actual god they’re worshipping and you guys aren‘t just being insecure cocks?”

“It isn’t. We aren’t. Also, there‘s a reward.”

Well, that’s all Vespero needs to hear! Let’s massacre those damn dirty cultists!