Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

Gasp! Shock! Awe! Keldorn’s wife has been cheating on him! This is a horrible state of affairs indeed!

I certainly didn’t want to be reminded that old people can and do still have active sex lives, after all. I mean, if you ARE an old person and you wish to, as I believe youngsters say, “get your freak on”, then fine, more power to you. I’m not going to stop you. All I ask is that you make absolutely sure that the rest of us never, ever know about it.

EVER.

After we put all thoughts of wrinkly jollies aside, (which takes far more time than we’d like) we agree to go and speak with the dastard that dared to defile daddy’s dame; Sir William.

You may be aware that taking this path, rather than having Keldorn chop the guy’s head off for adultery, (which, apparently, is entirely legal; seems that Amn takes marriage vows pretty damn seriously) leads to the happy, feel-good outcome where Keldorn and his wife kiss and make up and he promises to retire once he’s done helping you out.

I can assure you, Vespero is not going soft. It’s just that I don’t think doing it the other way gets us any experience. I could be wrong, mind you, since it’s been a long, LONG time since I last used Keldorn, but I’m not taking any chances here. Vespero’s been without those Kensai levels for far too long. He’s starting to get jittery, and so am I.

William is to be found at the Mithrest Inn, and he’s surprisingly nonchalant about the whole thing when we confront him. Considering we could legally have him executed for his actions and that Keldorn is, due to his vows as a paladin, obligated to do just that, you’d think he’d be a little more worried.

He’s also kind enough to let slip to an enraged Keldorn that there was no chance of his wife bearing any illegitimate children since he’s basically shooting blanks at his age. Thanks, William. Thank you SO MUCH. That’s WONDERFUL. Hearing about some old geezer’s sperm count is exactly what I needed after having to scrub my brain no more than five paragraphs ago.

Why didn’t I make this easy on myself and just take this fucker to court again? Oh yeah, for a piddling amount of XP. Damn you, unintuitive and crippling dual-class system.

On our way back to the government district, we were ambushed by a huge group of Orogs along with a couple of human slavers, which was annoying given that Jaheira was still cursed at the time, but still nothing we couldn’t handle. A quick Web spell held them all neatly in place while we picked them off with missile weapons, occasionally switching back to melee to deal with the odd one that managed to break through.

Both I and Vespero are extremely thankful for this little skirmish. Blood always manages to wash away unwanted mental imagery.