Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

We did not get killed by the lightning mephit.

See? Didn't I tell you we wouldn't? Let it be known that I deliver.

God, all those weapons lying around and not a thing for Jaheira. You'd think you could make an impromptu club by hacking off a table leg or something, but no. She's proficient with a quarterstaff, at least, so we'll let her have that.

Resting isn't worth the bother right now, so we'll just fill up her spare spell slots (hur hur hur) and move on for the time being.

You know, I'd completely forgotten about the Jailkeeper Golem being in here. I've walked by it so many times in the past and it's so utterly inconsequential and useless that it just became another part of the room, like an item of furniture.

Of course, an item of furniture is basically what it amounts to.

Think about it for a second. The golem doesn't attack when it sees you escape. It doesn't attack when you take all the items in the room. It doesn't attack when you say, to its face, "I'm a prisoner and I've escaped and I'm leaving and you can't stop me." It doesn't even attack when you attack it, a trait that I do not think is shared by any other creature in the game.

In light of this, what we can surmise from the "conversation" we have with this golem is that this its sole purpose is to let prisoners out of their cages. Presumably, then, we are to take it that Irenicus went to all the trouble of creating a huge, magically animated, vaguely man-shaped lump of baked clay just because he couldn't be bothered to open doors.

I'm tempted to call him a lazy schmuck, but it's not exactly laziness when your attempt to cut corners probably required more effort overall than doing things the normal way, is it?

Moving on, we come to Mr. Random Genie.

You know, for all the things that the Unfinished Business mod does, I'd always hoped that it'd eventually go towards explaining just what the hell this guy is doing here. He mentions being "interested in your progress" and he's all needlessly cryptic and stuff, which I had hitherto considered sure-fire signs of an irritating recurring character, (I'm looking at you, Elminster) but after this encounter you never see him again, and the advice that he gives you if you play along with him isn't even remotely helpful. What's the point?

Anyway, he gives me his question and Vespero answers that, in a situation where he can press a button and sacrifice himself for a friend or not press a button and have a shot at staying alive, he will press the button. Not necessarily because he's inclined to make a noble sacrifice, but because in a situation like the one the genie puts forth, your chances of surviving are basically zero anyway, so your choice basically consists of dying while looking all tough and heroic or dying looking like a craven coward. With a Charisma of 4, you take any opportunity you can get to make yourself look good.

Ataqah does his summoning thing and up pops the Ogre Mage, which lasts all of three seconds against Vespero's furious slashing.

Man, remember in BG1 when Ogre Mages were dangerous and capable opponents?