Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

This place is infuriating. You know the damn werewolves aren’t real and you know what will happen if you attack them, so you don‘t. Nevertheless, they insist on being obstinate and chasing you everywhere, taking swings at you until you’ve beaten Kalah and escaped. They’re like one of those stubborn, obnoxious children that follows you around and sings “The song that never ends” incessantly, even though you’ve explicitly told them that they’re not annoying you and you’re just going about your business and ignoring them and they’re not getting to you in any way and you’re not going to rise to their provocations because that's exactly what they want you to do so you're just going to be the better man and DEAR GOD WILL YOU SHUT UP WILL YOU WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP AND DIE.

As for the Shadows, these creatures are not a threat unless they attack in swarms or are paired with other enemies. As they are, they just can’t inflict enough damage to really pose a problem, and the strength drain is only a minor annoyance. Much as I’m sure you’d love to hear me scream and rant that I accidentally sold all my enchanted weapons, and as such am going to have to dispatch them using only a Wand of Missiles and a Potion of Firebreath, it just didn’t go down that way.

Up pops the genie again, and then we’re off to kill a Kalah.

I have to admit, I really want to just hang back for a while until Kalah kills Quayle here. Why, you ask?

Have you played the first game? Quayle’s an ass. What’s more, he’s a useless ass. I can deal with asses if they make up for being asses by also being worthwhile party members, (Edwin) but Quayle is probably the most useless NPC in Baldur’s Gate that isn’t named Garrick, which in no way compensates for assness.

Just to make it worse, you can’t even get him until the game’s almost over since he’s in Baldur’s Gate, (the city) and you assume he’s going to be awesome since you’ve had to wait so long to come across him, but he isn’t. None of them are. All the NPCs in Baldur’s Gate suck.

I quickly find, however, that I do not have the patience, probably because I’m already sick of hearing phantom werewolves snarling in my ear at this point, so I just go ahead and kill him. Again, no strategy here since he doesn’t even bother putting up a fight.

Hark! What’s that I hear? Did Vespero just level up? You bet your Quayle he did. Since we imported him, that places him firmly at level 9, and you know what that means, folks.

It’s time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dual.