Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

Let me just show you the portrait I’m using again.











I have to give Amalas credit; he’s got some serious balls calling Vespero "dolly boy".

Into the ring we go. First of all we draw our Wand of Monster Summoning and aim it at the centre of the floor, directly between Amalas and Vespero.

And…wow. Five Gnoll Elites. I was kind of expecting to have to help whatever got conjured up by continuing to blast Amalas with more wands, but the snarling hyena men just get stuck right in and gib him without me having to lift a finger, thereby proving that I am a real man and a true hardass because I can summon other creatures to fight my battles for me.

Jaheira levels up from this, which she DOESN’T DESERVE. I’m the one who killed him, damn it. I should be levelling up.

Well…actually, the gnolls are the ones that killed him, but shut up. I made the gnolls.

One extra spell slot for levels 4 and 5, to which we’ll assign Defensive Harmony and…oh, let’s say Insect Plague.

With that out of the way, we can finally do what we came here to do; recruit Korgan. We saunter up and talk to him, and after being seated around his table, he tells us he’s going to…“Flail the bladder for a spell."

To this day, I still have no idea what the hell this is supposed to mean, but it sounds absolutely disgusting. You keep your bladder to yourself, you bearded little freak.

We agree to find his damn book, but of course we’re going to stall on this for as long as we can, because the undead in that crypt are pretty tough, and at this point in time, Vespero is not.

Going to rest for now to memorise my meagre spell selection, then it’s off to add Viconia to our sorry troupe.