Baldur's Gate: The Zero Reload Saga

Since we don’t want Yoshimo hogging any undeserved experience, and because it’s just easier in the long run, I went ahead and killed the clay golem guardians while they were still inactive, rather than tripping the alarm and waiting for them to chase me down. A couple of hits a piece does the job, but I had Jaheira Barkskin me in advance just in case.

Spoke to Rielev and took his power cells, though after having gone through this same process time and time again, I don’t know why I bother. You can go back and plug them in to the other jars and all you get is a bunch of anguished, gibbered nonsense that isn’t helpful at all and would probably only make sense after your second or third time through the game. Not even a sliver of XP. It’s shameful.

Ditching those, I go back and activate the Sewage golem…god, but the workmanship on these things is appalling. First you’ve got a jail keeper golem that is incapable of taking any action whatsoever to impede escaping prisoners, then you’ve got two guardian golems that one of the goblins could probably take down if they put their mind to it, and then you’ve got another golem that CAN’T SEE. How much trouble could it possibly have been to roll the poor thing a couple of eyeballs?

How is it even supposed to perform its duties if it can’t see what it’s doing? How do you know it isn’t going to get the wrong room and bust in on you at an inopportune moment, like, say, while you’re trying to recreate the special feelings brought on by your ex-girlfriend's boobs with a dryad prostitute? Do you think you will be able to accomplish anything on that front while there’s a poor, blind golem that doesn't know any better grabbing your ankle and trying to scrub you up all nice?

Friggin’ sloppy wizards.

As an aside, Clay Golems are made of clay. Stone Golems are made of stone. Iron Golems are made of iron. Does that mean the Sewage Golem is...

Eww.

ANYWAY, we’ll send it on its way, but we won’t be following it just yet. We got ourselves some negro dwarves to lynch. Also, it smells probably funny and we don't want to get any closer than we have to.

Going to rest for now and have Jaheira memorise some decent spells, just to be on the safe side.